Category: Quotations

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There were two schools as to why people kicked barefoot. Neither made any sense. The first was that it provided the kicker with a better “feel” for the ball itself and that this gave him greater control of its trajectory; I recall an argument that claimed making a kicker wear a shoe was like making a quarterback wear a mitten. I can only assume this argument was made by people who threw like Garo Yepremian.

Chuck Klosterman
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As we start down the stretch, Bell is picking up on the outside, Perry is still at 35 percent after a year, Strayhorn is fading and Kinky stopped to poop on the track.

Molly Ivins
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Every episode of He‐Man consisted of the two parties battling one another, with their skirmishes having little or no effect on the outside world. This was true of many of those ’80s, action figure‐centric, A vs. B cartoon shows: G.I. Joe vs. Cobra, Justice League vs. Legion of Doom, Autobots vs. Decepticons, etc. But most were at least set on Earth, so you could easily identify the bad guys — they were the ones trying to blow up Mount Rushmore.

Matthew Baldwin
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I’m not sure what will end up being a more depressing DVD release — The Last Kiss, or the Raiders’ 2006 team video. Probably depends on the number of Imogen Heap songs.

Bill Simmons
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You’re a fuckonaut, in a silver spaceship, traveling a parallel universe of stupid.

Coupon
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After offering his version of events, Owens said he plans to practice Thursday. He also hopes to play Sunday against Tennessee, if his surgically repaired right hand can take it. That officially would make him the first player in NFL history to be upgraded from suicidal to questionable in the span of less than a day.

Pat Forde
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Saying that you’re going to make the web a place for comics is like suggesting that you plan to colonize the Earth.

Tycho Brahe
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We’ve got nine Iraq war veterans running for House seats. President Reagan’s Secretary of the Navy is the Democratic candidate for Senate in Virginia. A three‐star admiral who was on my NSC staff is running for Kurt Weldon’s seat in Pennsylvania. We’ve got a huge military presence in this campaign — you can’t let [the GOP] have some rhetorical device that puts us in a box that we don’t belong in. That’s their job. Their job is to beat us. But our job is to not let them get away with it. And if we don’t we’ll be fine.

Bill Clinton (on the midterm elections)
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A mass of Latin words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outline and covering up all the details. The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. In our age there is no such thing as ‘keeping out of politics.’ All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer.

George Orwell, "Politics and the English Language"
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It’s hard for me to write a WTF — not because I can’t remember one, but because I remember too many. Netscape was one giant WTF — or, as they called it back then, AOL. The company had grown so inept that “WTF” became just another thing we said each day, like “Hey,” or “What time is it?” or “We just lost another 5%,” or “Marketing wants to replace the Back button with an ad for Bowflex.” In fact, as I’m sure you know, the Mozilla movement itself was born when Jim Barksdale looked at the old Netscape 4.x codebase and announced, with tremendous gusto and wondrous pride: WTF?

Blake Ross (for thedailywtf.com)