We’re going to hear about how [the Arizona Cardinals] magically transformed themselves at the end of the season. We’re going to hear about the remarkable comeback of Kurt Warner. We’re going to hear about how marvelous it is for the National Football League that a Super Bowl championship is within the grasp of a team so thickly dripping with obvious mediocrity that it’s a wonder Charlie Sheen isn’t playing left guard. We are going to hear all of this because the NFL and its broadcast partners operate on the very simple premise that everybody who reports—or follows—their sport on television is a paste‐eating moron.